don't know any other animal on this green earth that
loves a barbecue more than a dog, and being one, I'm
no exception. So, when my people say let's go , you
know I'm gonna be there.
Well, this is a short story of one of those
trips to meat Eden, and a pee-wee of a predicament.
The first thing you have to understand is that I can't
always control myself, I try, but all the food, all
those smells, all the people, all the food, it just
gets dogmatic after about 5 minutes. So, you can imagine
what I have to endure after about an hour. I had to
do it, I had to release all this pent up frustration
somehow. But, how can I blow off some steam without
further unwanted lambasting from my humans. This was
becoming a doggie disaster and I had to bring this decision
to a close. Then it dawned on me, why go out for a walk
when you can go out with a bang. Uh, no, I didn't start
banging some humans leg like you thought, that's degrading,
and only perverted pets sink so low. What I did do though,
is teach some humans not to mess with the pet world.
The people attending the food fest were standing
around, laughing and having a good time, gorging their
fat faces with the food of the gods, when all of a sudden
the swilling was drowned out with a high pitch squealing
that was an octave or two higher than a dog whistle.
The humans scrambled for the source of the terror only
to find one of their offspring crying at the top of
his lungs. What happened, one of them yells. I think
the dog did something, another whispers. Just then,
the human child begins to yelp one phrase repeatedly,
over and over again, burning into their ears with the
words "It's Hot, It's Hot". Well, much to my surprise,
the humans started laughing so hard they were dropping
like flies. I didn't understand why they thought it
was so funny, but the next time any other kid drops
his hot-dog on the ground, and then picks it up and
eats it without giving me any, I'm gonna pee on his
leg too. After all, now I know I can get away with it.